Thursday, January 31, 2013

I hate food.

I was sick from December 10th-ish until the week of January 14th. Monday, January 14th I threw up so much I was in the hospital. I don't think I ate more than 2000 calories that entire week. I was on medicine to keep me from throwing up more. 

I now am feeling better, and have an appatite again, but no food is appealing to me. I get hungry, and then get frustarated because I can't think of a single freaking thing that I want to eat. Monday I made pizza, and that was really good. That was probably the first thing since December 10th that I really wanted to eat, and that ship has sailed. I've wasted so much food it stupid. 

No, I am not anorexic. I do eventually eat. And, often when I eat something it does taste good. I don't know what the problem is. I feel like Liz Gilbert in Eat Pray Love when she says "I used to have this appetite for food, for life, and it's just gone. I want to go some place where I can marvel at something ... I'm going to Italy, India and I'm going to end the year in Bali." 

Well, yes, I want to go to India,and to Bali, but mostly to India. But, more than that, I want to adjust to all the change in my life and stop feeling so freaking anxious. (Wow, this post was supposed to be about food. How did we get here?). I know the reason I feel weird is that 1) I haven't exercised since the end of December 2) the last time I meditated was January 3rd-ish 3) I don't deal well with change (new job, new speech schedule, everything is all confused in my internal clock) and 4) I've been eating like crap because I just don't like food right now. 

So here's my plan:
1) Go to my meditation class tonight

2) Go to the gym tomorrow (it's my day off)
3) Cook THIS :)

Zucchini and Spaghetti Squash "Lasagna"
From Green Lite Bites

What better way to get over a food aversion than something that looks this amazing?