Monday, April 16, 2012

I [N]eeded that

I know I'm breaking my pattern, and my students would yell at me for ruining my own continuity, but last night I had a big of a long-coming, much-needed breakdown.

I don't want to go into details, because the I don't like to put my personal life on the internet, but the point was that I finally said some things out loud, admitted some things to myself and those very close to me, and I was able to ask for the help I needed.

No, I am not on drugs. Actually, the things I was admitting were some insecurities I'm not sure what to do with. I'm not used to having ego problems; I've always been very secure in myself. But I've been questioning recently if this self that I am so secure in is too distant from those around me.

However, I realized something important.

There is nothing wrong with me.

As long as I am being true to myself, and I am, then I need to wait for those who want me for me.

I do have some; I'm not totally alone. And more will come as long as I am true to myself, even if that self is a bit impervious sometimes.

So maybe N should be that there is [N]othing wrong with me. But sometimes, we all [N]eed some breakdown time too.

3 comments:

  1. we all go through it. Its not easy. New follower here.

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  2. Breakdowns...handled properly...can be very cathartic! :)

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  3. Your blog title- "A game of balance" says a lot! Inner balance in my opinion is key to everything outside of ourselves. What you reveal outwardly is an indication of what's going on inwardly.

    It's important to take time for yourself and receive what you need by doing so!
    Yes- by all means be true to yourself and if others can bare to be around the true you- then most likely they haven't learned to be true to their own selves.

    Really enjoying your blog!

    Peace!
    http://bettyalark.blogspot.com/

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