Saturday, April 7, 2012

I am not [G]irly

I have been writing about things that make me feel like myself, things that help remind me of what is important, in order to help me feel more focused. I am doing this by listing 25 things that "I am". 

Well, today's "I am" is actually an I am not.
I am not [G]irly. 

I have a one and a half year old son. For the first 20 weeks I was pregnant before I knew it was a boy I was trying hard to not tell myself I didn't want a girl (because I thought that would just be bad Karma, and a little mean) but the truth was, I wanted a boy. 

Not because I don't like girls, but because I would have no idea what to do with a girl. I don't like dresses, I barely wear makeup, my hair is in a ponytale 95% of the time, and I would much rather go hiking in the woods than go shopping. 

I'm just not your typical girl, and I was afraid that I wouldn't know what to do with a daughter. She probably would have spent a lot of time with her aunts trying to learn the "girly" things in life that mommy thought was silly. 

Now, don't get me wrong: I love to cook, and I like a clean house, and I actually have been looking at a lot of Etsy shops recently thinking about learning how to sew. But I feel like those are more functional adult woman things than the typical things that are defined at "girly". 

Yesterday I used an Urban Dictionary definition of "from the internet" and was pleasantly surprised by the overwhelming positive response. So when I looked up the Urban Dictionary defintion of Girly I thought this was also worth quoting: 

Okay, so the point of Urban Dictionary is to exaggerate a stereotype, but this very much illustrates all the "girly" things that I just find obnoxious. 

Below is a picture of "The Pink Project" by JeongMee Yoon where she takes pictures of little girls surrounded by all their pink things. If I had a daughter she would only have pink things that were presents because I really don't like pink. But if I had a daughter I would buy her toy dishes and food, but not a princess tea set, and dress up clothes, but not just princess dresses, and she would have cars and legos in addition to her dolls. 

I guess more than anything all of this rejection of female little girl "stuff" is more of a desire to let a girl be exposed to as many things as possible in life so she can choose her own way; it isn't as much a rejection of girly-ness as an acceptance of all things. 

But, then again, my son has more yellow things than blue, and he has trucks alongside his collection of measuring cups and kitchen spoons. 

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes apples fall far from the tree. :-) And it is good to expose children to as many things as possible--and to not limit them to traditional gender stereotypes. That having been said, there is a certain level of unhappiness among children who are viewed as "odd" by their peers. But--there is a point of ridiculousness that gets reached with pink ruffles for girls and Tonka trucks for boys. I am not girly at all. T-shirts and bluejeans all my life. Grew up on a farm doing chores, never twirled a baton or took a dance class. I raised one daughter and two sons. My daughter grew up to be girly, likes to shop, wears makeup and dresses very professionally everyday. Sometimes I wonder if she was switched at birth. lol, but the most important thing about her is that she is a nice person. Girlishness, or boyishness matter little in the grand scheme. Enjoy your son--they grow up so quickly. And if there is a daughter in your future--don't sweat it. She will turn out just fine--even lacking a pink universe surrounding her. :-)