Monday, April 30, 2012

Finish up the A to Z Challenge

On April 1st I wrote: 

I wrote recently about how I am  little jumbled inside about my priories and my focus, and it is all making me very...unmotivated. I also wrote about how I was going to drop my initial plan for the A to Z challenge which was to write about starting a schedule...For April, my goal is simple: Come up with 25 things that I already am, 25 things I believe in, 25 things that make me who I am. The objective for this is to help me feel more grounded and less emotionally scattered. This will follow the A to Z Challenge format (obviously). 

And then, on April 20th, I lost all motivation, got overwhelmed with life, and only got through R. 

So, I'm back. And I didn't realize until this morning how much I've missed writing. ALL I can think about today is all the things I want to write about. 

But I have to finish the A to Z Challenge first. It's still April, so I've got time. 

I am [R]estless

I am consciously [s]lowing myself down so that I can enjoy life more.

I was mortified when my meditation instructor told me that Buddhists tend to move more slowely than other people; I like going a million miles a minute. But once I started to internalize the ideas of mindfulness and living in the moment I have realized that this outward slowness is not actually mental slowness (or, mental deterioration like I once though) but rather just an ability to not rush on to the next thing and not enjoy life.

I am also [T]eresa, not Terry. 

My mother chose my name and the names of my sister because "they would look nice on an office door besides the words CEO". While I would much rather it be Ph.D. next to my name, I still think it it's pretty awesome that I have such a strong name. Therefore, I think it's weird when people call me Terry. And I tend not to respond.

I am [U]norganized, but I am working on it

When I had my son I realized how it was not an option anymore to be disorganized. My kitchen (usually) is very organized, my work bag is EXTREMELY organized (though my desk is a bit of a catch-all), but my car and my bedroom are a disaster. I am slowly work on this problem, and I am making HUGE progress, but I still have a long way to go. 

I am a [V]egetarian 

This started out as an accident and turned into a full out lifestyle choice that I am very VERY happy with. 

I am a [W]orkaholic, and I am happy that way

I dealt with the guilt of being a working mom; it was crippling at times. But not only am I a mom I am a teacher to 60 other students who I want to help grow and mature just as I want to do with my son. Yes, I love my son more than anything on earth, and my job will never take me away from him, but I love my work too and know I would not be myself without it. I work hard to balance my time and have the benefit of a part time teaching position to give me extra time with him and I am very happy with the way things have balanced out. 

I am e[X]cited (yeah, yeah, all the adjectives that start with X derive from the word Xenophobic, so I had to get creative)

I am an easily excitable person. You might also say that I am driven and focused and passionate. I get excited about finding great articles about integrating 21st Century Skills into a Low Tech classroom and I have almost wrecked my car more than once when I had a debate epiphany while driving. This keeps life interesting. 

I am [Y]oung

This one seems like a no-brainer, but it is more complex than it seems. I look young. I have a sister that is two years younger than me that people have always thought was older and I still get carded to buy cough medicine. But, at work, people have always thought me to be much older than I am. I consider it a mark of respect when people say things to me like "Oh, you're only 25?! I thought you were, like, 28 and married". Because apparently married also implies maturity. Now, I know three years difference isn't a lot, but in terms of new professionals someone with one year experience is very different than someone with 4 years of experience. It is that differentiation of competence that makes thinking about my age in terms of my professional life...interesting. It marks me as more of an equal with my students, and I let some of my pop culture youth slip out form time to time, but I don't dress down on dress down days anymore and I always wear my glasses just to give myself those few more implied years of experience with my colleagues.

I am [Z]ealous

And sometimes I am a zealot (like when my debaters are yelling in the library, or messing around in the cafeteria at a tournament). But I am very passionate and focused in everything I do. And I am proud of that. 

Phew...Okay. The final list is:
I am [R]estlessI am consciously [S]lowing myself down so that I can enjoy life moreI am also [T]eresa, not TerryI am [U]norganized, but I am working on itI am a [V]egetarian I am a [W]orkaholic, and I am happy that way
I am e[X]cited
I am [Y]oung
I am [Z]ealous

1 comment:

  1. Hearing the inner you from an outer perspective, Teresa sounds frantic.

    It think it's great that you write! At least you're unleashing what's inside of you!

    I'm sure that helps!